Do you ever find yourself wishing I had appointments on Saturday?
Tomorrow, April 11, I do!
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Friday, April 10, 2015
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Approaching Anger Like A Body Part
You may know (or not) that anger is my go-to place when I am past my limits, stressed, overworked, overtired, over-anything. Sometimes that anger become a rage that feels like my mind has been taken over by Godzilla. I spend a lot of time reflecting on and trying to respect the role of anger in my life.
Today I listened to a meditation focused on anger. How to approach it with compassion and softness. Not thinking of it as "wrong" or "broken" or "a problem". It hit me: anger is just like that crazy tight resistant thick-as-a-brick muscle that I often find in a client's body (and quite possibly mine as well). Why not approach my anger like I do that muscle?
First: Presume it's the way it is for a perfectly good reason. Presume it is filling a need. Perhaps that need is for stability or protection. Perhaps that need has simply been to work long past healthy limits.
Second: Remember that the body is always -- always -- working towards balance, harmony, and health. Remember that it has complex processes already in place and working to try to get to a place of balance, harmony, and health at this very minute.
Third: Don't fight it, respect it. Do not try to power through. That's just going to make everything tighter. Put my hands on it and listen. What do I learn from my hands?
Fourth: Ask for permission to be its partner. I can't waltz in like "I'm here and I'm in charge now". I can certainly try that approach but many years of experience suggests it's a stupid way to move forward.
Fifth: With love and compassion, apply whatever pressure, direction, or tool I believe will help the body in its efforts to achieve balance, harmony, and health. That pressure may be firm but it's more likely to be soft. The direction might be direct but it's more likely to be oblique. The tool may be blunt but its more likely to be gentle.
I love a good metaphor and the human body seems to provide an endless supply of them for life's challenges and conundrums. I am grateful for the 15 years I've been able to practice massage for so many things, not the least of which is what it has taught me about the body, life, and the human spirit.
May you be gentle and compassionate with all parts of yourself today as well.
Today I listened to a meditation focused on anger. How to approach it with compassion and softness. Not thinking of it as "wrong" or "broken" or "a problem". It hit me: anger is just like that crazy tight resistant thick-as-a-brick muscle that I often find in a client's body (and quite possibly mine as well). Why not approach my anger like I do that muscle?
First: Presume it's the way it is for a perfectly good reason. Presume it is filling a need. Perhaps that need is for stability or protection. Perhaps that need has simply been to work long past healthy limits.
Second: Remember that the body is always -- always -- working towards balance, harmony, and health. Remember that it has complex processes already in place and working to try to get to a place of balance, harmony, and health at this very minute.
Third: Don't fight it, respect it. Do not try to power through. That's just going to make everything tighter. Put my hands on it and listen. What do I learn from my hands?
Fourth: Ask for permission to be its partner. I can't waltz in like "I'm here and I'm in charge now". I can certainly try that approach but many years of experience suggests it's a stupid way to move forward.
Fifth: With love and compassion, apply whatever pressure, direction, or tool I believe will help the body in its efforts to achieve balance, harmony, and health. That pressure may be firm but it's more likely to be soft. The direction might be direct but it's more likely to be oblique. The tool may be blunt but its more likely to be gentle.
I love a good metaphor and the human body seems to provide an endless supply of them for life's challenges and conundrums. I am grateful for the 15 years I've been able to practice massage for so many things, not the least of which is what it has taught me about the body, life, and the human spirit.
May you be gentle and compassionate with all parts of yourself today as well.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Are You Aging Right Now?
I spent a half-day yesterday in a retreat talking about aging. There was a distinct heightened level of anxiety around it, especially in my group of 50-55 year olds. A lot of tired old "don't look at me too closely!" jokes.
Aging is scary for good reasons. Will we become invisible as we age because, especially women, aren't supposed to age? We're supposed to cling to 10 years ago, no matter what age we actually are. At 40 we were supposed to look 30. At 50 we were supposed to look 40.
It's also scary because it is completely unknown. I know things will change, often for the worse, but I have no way to know when or how. It will come as a surprise and often an unpleasant one. It totally messes with my sense of control and organization.
This isn't new. I had to face the hard questions of aging for the last 20 years with my parents. It led me to write the following in my January 2006 newsletter. It still sounds right today, 9 years later, possibly even more right:
"2005 gave me many opportunities to reflect on what it means to live well and what it means to age well. We often assume that the trick to aging “well” is to remain healthy, to avoid suffering from aches, pains, and infirmities.
We are wrong. The price of living long IS aches, pains, and infirmities.
Aging “well”, it turns out, is becoming the kind of person who can accept graciously and accommodate intelligently the trials of aging. Aging “well” is about who we are as a person, not simply what we are as a body.
This means that the challenges of aging well are not physical. They are spiritual because acceptance and accommodation strike at the core of how we understand who we are. That is, perhaps, the most spiritual question we can ask ourselves.
How do we maintain our dignity while suffering physical indignities?
How do we maintain our humor in the face of pain?
How do we accept life graciously when life is being ungracious to us?
How do we incorporate the unexpected and the loss of control it represents without bitterness and rage?
How do we ask for, and accept help, when it flies in the face of our understanding of ourselves as independent capable people?
How do we find meaning and value in our lives when we are not “producing” in the way we and our society normally appreciates?
How do we care for and love a body we feel has betrayed us?
These are the true challenges of aging. The good and bad news is that we don’t start preparing for these challenges when they arrive. We need to be the kind of person who can face these things before they arrive.
We need to be preparing for that…in our 20s. And 30s. And 40s. And 50s. And 60s. That’s the good news – we can start right now and be more likely to be ready when the tough part of aging arrives.
Take a look at that list again. They are all things, in fact, that we face throughout our lives. How we respond to them now is how we will respond to them when we are “aged” as well.
Aging merely gives proof to the lives we’ve led. What will your older years tell the world about the life you have led? What can you do about that today?"
Aging is scary for good reasons. Will we become invisible as we age because, especially women, aren't supposed to age? We're supposed to cling to 10 years ago, no matter what age we actually are. At 40 we were supposed to look 30. At 50 we were supposed to look 40.
It's also scary because it is completely unknown. I know things will change, often for the worse, but I have no way to know when or how. It will come as a surprise and often an unpleasant one. It totally messes with my sense of control and organization.
This isn't new. I had to face the hard questions of aging for the last 20 years with my parents. It led me to write the following in my January 2006 newsletter. It still sounds right today, 9 years later, possibly even more right:
"2005 gave me many opportunities to reflect on what it means to live well and what it means to age well. We often assume that the trick to aging “well” is to remain healthy, to avoid suffering from aches, pains, and infirmities.
We are wrong. The price of living long IS aches, pains, and infirmities.
Aging “well”, it turns out, is becoming the kind of person who can accept graciously and accommodate intelligently the trials of aging. Aging “well” is about who we are as a person, not simply what we are as a body.
This means that the challenges of aging well are not physical. They are spiritual because acceptance and accommodation strike at the core of how we understand who we are. That is, perhaps, the most spiritual question we can ask ourselves.
How do we maintain our dignity while suffering physical indignities?
How do we maintain our humor in the face of pain?
How do we accept life graciously when life is being ungracious to us?
How do we incorporate the unexpected and the loss of control it represents without bitterness and rage?
How do we ask for, and accept help, when it flies in the face of our understanding of ourselves as independent capable people?
How do we find meaning and value in our lives when we are not “producing” in the way we and our society normally appreciates?
How do we care for and love a body we feel has betrayed us?
These are the true challenges of aging. The good and bad news is that we don’t start preparing for these challenges when they arrive. We need to be the kind of person who can face these things before they arrive.
We need to be preparing for that…in our 20s. And 30s. And 40s. And 50s. And 60s. That’s the good news – we can start right now and be more likely to be ready when the tough part of aging arrives.
Take a look at that list again. They are all things, in fact, that we face throughout our lives. How we respond to them now is how we will respond to them when we are “aged” as well.
Aging merely gives proof to the lives we’ve led. What will your older years tell the world about the life you have led? What can you do about that today?"
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Understanding Touch
Great interview on NPR's Fresh Air today. David Linden, the author of "Touch", a book about how touch, pleasure, pain, etc. works in our body. Pretty fascinating stuff. Go here to read the highlights or to listen to the whole interview as a podcast.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Anything you want (if I have it)
As you know if you've received a massage from me, I will usually ask you if you have a musical preference. Classical, nature sounds, woo-woo music, golden oldies, etc. I've got a nice selection and most of it is orchestrated to encourage quiet and relaxation because, duh, I'm a massage therapist.
Today a client asked if I had anything by the Beatles. I did and that's what we listened to during the massage.
You don't have to limit yourself to "relaxing" music if you'd really rather hear something more upbeat. I've got lots of other music as well. AC/DC to Zoot Suit Riot, I can accommodate some variety in your preferences.
One day many years ago a client walked in and heard me listening to Terry Gross' NPR program "Fresh Air". When I went to turn off the radio she said "no, I like Terry Gross too" so we listened to a Fresh Air interview during her session.
Yes, you can ask for that. I only ask you to be honest with yourself about whether it's good for your massage experience. If it's right for you -- and not too distracting for me -- it's all fair game.
Today a client asked if I had anything by the Beatles. I did and that's what we listened to during the massage.
You don't have to limit yourself to "relaxing" music if you'd really rather hear something more upbeat. I've got lots of other music as well. AC/DC to Zoot Suit Riot, I can accommodate some variety in your preferences.
One day many years ago a client walked in and heard me listening to Terry Gross' NPR program "Fresh Air". When I went to turn off the radio she said "no, I like Terry Gross too" so we listened to a Fresh Air interview during her session.
Yes, you can ask for that. I only ask you to be honest with yourself about whether it's good for your massage experience. If it's right for you -- and not too distracting for me -- it's all fair game.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
What Do You Want From Your Massage?
At the beginning of many of my sessions I ask "what can massage do for you today?" This seems to flummox people sometimes.
My profession has worked hard to change the image of massage from "that fluffy treat you give yourself but only on vacation at a spa" to "something that can improve a lot of pain and discomfort every day". That's good. But in the process we may have forgotten the value of a "relaxation" massage.
I've had several sessions in the last few weeks that were all about "relaxation" and they made a huge difference for the client. When you are experiencing stress, anger, frustration, panic, etc. it can be difficult to eat, think straight, sleep, interact with people, or even (sometimes) think well of yourself. Those are all serious issues.
What the world calls "relaxation" I call "turning down the volume on your nervous system". A good "relaxation" massage can do wonders to help you get back to center, calmness, and clear-headed-ness. We all need that, desperately.
This can be a tough town for stress. Many people are struggling to juggle, manage, and cope and their nervous systems (and the rest of their body) are straining under the load. When that's what's got you in my office, you don't need to come up with things that "hurt". You can simply say "I need to relax". I will give you the best relaxation / quiet the nervous system / bring you back to yourself session I can. And you'll feel heaps better for it afterwards.
Relaxation. It's not just for vacation any more.
My profession has worked hard to change the image of massage from "that fluffy treat you give yourself but only on vacation at a spa" to "something that can improve a lot of pain and discomfort every day". That's good. But in the process we may have forgotten the value of a "relaxation" massage.
I've had several sessions in the last few weeks that were all about "relaxation" and they made a huge difference for the client. When you are experiencing stress, anger, frustration, panic, etc. it can be difficult to eat, think straight, sleep, interact with people, or even (sometimes) think well of yourself. Those are all serious issues.
What the world calls "relaxation" I call "turning down the volume on your nervous system". A good "relaxation" massage can do wonders to help you get back to center, calmness, and clear-headed-ness. We all need that, desperately.
This can be a tough town for stress. Many people are struggling to juggle, manage, and cope and their nervous systems (and the rest of their body) are straining under the load. When that's what's got you in my office, you don't need to come up with things that "hurt". You can simply say "I need to relax". I will give you the best relaxation / quiet the nervous system / bring you back to yourself session I can. And you'll feel heaps better for it afterwards.
Relaxation. It's not just for vacation any more.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Love the Babies But Not The Scars
If you’ve given birth, are pregnant, or plan to become pregnant, you need to know about scar tissue and scar mobilization. Why? Because it can massively impact your birth and recovery...Great information about the scars that are oh-so-common with all aspects of pregnancy and birth.
Jessie Mundell
Mundell Lifestyle and JMG Fitness Consulting
There are no such thing as "old" scars. All scars are living tissue, no matter how old. They can all be improved.
I've been trained in scar mobilization and really enjoy the work. Got some scars? Let's talk!
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